Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I just want nice things and good sex
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
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