In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
