STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
