Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
