quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
