dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Gay?
German.
Pity.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Randomize
