We won't sleep together?
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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