i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Randomize
