I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
