You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
