I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize
