I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize
