Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Randomize
