Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
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