glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
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