i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
porn star boner night. come get it.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
