I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Randomize
