I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
one might say we're banned from that church
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Randomize
