you're like a bully in the Christmas story
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
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