She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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