Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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