I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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