I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
