i just google imaged poop.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
We left an ass print on the piano.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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