Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
