just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
you had me at cake vodka
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
