that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
