dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
