does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Randomize
