We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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