she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
