I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
We have started to decorate penises.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
