I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
