Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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