Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
