Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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