on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
