How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
