i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Randomize
