For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
