why didn't you poke me back
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
