Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
