i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
