bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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