I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
