YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Randomize
