I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
