he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Drake has all the answers
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
