I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
