Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
