I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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