He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
no you cant smoke seaweed
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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