What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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