I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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